For a strong person to down tools, break down and say “I can’t do this anymore” is hard. I’m always the strong one, there for others, holding everything together and ‘it will all be ok in the end’ type person. As you know, I wrote last month about being tortured.
It has now been 28 days since I did something about it.
One month on from confessing all to the doctor. It had been two and a half years since I had told her I was having menopause symptoms. You know what, to hear someone say you don’t have to suffer just makes you break down and cry. I’m programmed not to cry in front of others so, when you are finally at the bottom of where you are at it doesn’t matter anymore. So “it’s better out than in” people say.
It was really strange, in fact scary. I had left the doctors and I now had three months of pills. HRT pills. I’ll start them on Monday I thought. Why, I have no idea. That night, Friday, I took my first HRT pill. I had a bad night’s sleep. I didn’t know what to expect. Were the hot flushes going to stop straight away? Would I feel different? Would I have any side effects? Well, nothing happened. Just the same old, same old. Hot flushes and sweats. What more could a girl want!
I jotted down my journey and, five days in, nothing had changed. In fact, on Monday I was still having hot flushes that made the sweat run off me. I decided this was my body fighting back at the HRT. “No! You can’t kill us off” said the hot flushes, as they kept on coming.
The fight carried on into the early hours of Tuesday morning. My night sleep was non-existent as I had to get up three times to pee, and lost count of how many times I threw the quilt off me as the battle of hot flushes raged on. It is just as well I don’t have to get up for work. When I finally did check the time, it was 0839 hrs and I was knackered.
Wednesday morning got off to the mandatory hot flush. I got out of bed, as the steam coming off me had misted up my glasses and was stopping me from reading.
I am a week in now and my mindset seems a lot clearer and more positive. Feels like a life time ago that I could be in a positive mood. I am sleeping better now, and I don’t seem to be having as many hot flushes. When I do get them though, I am still sweating to death!
After twelve days I am getting warm but not sweating, despite the weather being really hot. I slept all night last night, no hot flush to wake me up and, so far this morning, 9 August 2018, I haven’t had one. But I’m sure it is inbound!
Monday 13 August 2018. Yesterday I was thinking about how much better I feel. Happier, brighter, my mind is so much clearer. Hot flushes and sweats don’t happen anymore. I have felt myself getting warm at times, but no sweat on my skin. My mood is so much happier. It’s funny, as I now see how unhappy I was but thought I could cope. I seem to have been waiting for the end to come, but no-one can tell you when that will be.
Saturday 18 August 2018. I have noticed that my boobs have gone tender. I haven’t had that in well over two and a half years. My boobs would always become tender the week I was due my period then disappear when mother nature made her appearance. Back in them days I would take a starflower supplement to relieve the pain.
Friday 24 August 2018. It has been a month since I started the HRT. The hot flushes have gone and I continue to feel good. My boobs are still a bit tender, but they have eased off a bit. I am not going to take any supplements for them as I want to see if they will calm down on their own.
Best thing I did last month was talk to my doctor.
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